Brainflakes | by Ali Puckett

The Goodbye

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Penis Enhancement (Part 4)

As I’ve mentioned before:  For some reason, I am on a hit list to receive a TON of daily spam e-mails for penis enhancement... which is ridiculous, because everyone knows I have a HUGE cock.

 

For your enjoyment – I have compiled a brand new list of just a few of the actual e-mail titles (subject lines).  100% real.  Directly from my inbox.  Enjoy! 

• Your hook will be the best hook of all hooks in the world.

• Design the hardness of your penis the way you want it.

• Now you can poke your big impressing tool into everybody's business.

• By giving more inches to your tool, you are giving her more reasons to love you.

• Now you don't have to wear bigger shoes to trick women around you.

• Your little friend will turn from a small pumpkin to a big king!

• Keep your rod hardy.

• You need to have a big thing in pants to be capable for big things.

• You can stop telling lies about male member's size.

• Nothing excites women more than a large and pretty bulge.

• If a big size was not your demise you can change it.

• How many orggasm can man do?

Carl Sagan vs. Shaft

Carl Sagan was an American astronomer, astrochemist, author, and highly successful popularizer of astronomy, astrophysics and other natural sciences.

 

Shaft was the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks.

 

… and both were BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKERS!

 

I hope this helps to clarify any outstanding concerns.

 

Sincerely,

Ali

Penis Enhancement and Porn (Part 3)

As I’ve mentioned before:  For some reason, I am on a hit list to receive a TON of daily spam e-mails for porn and penis enhancement.

 

So, for your enjoyment – I have compiled a brand new list of just a few of the actual e-mail titles (subject lines).  100% real.  Directly from my inbox.  Enjoy!

 

• Increase the dimension of your monster.

• Want her to swallow?

• Get your sperms thick and juicy.

• She’ll never laugh at your anymore.

• Give your new tool some practice.

• How do you do.  My ass waits you here.

• Super dimension for your little soldier.

• She smiled at me hornily.

• RE:  She loves it from behind.

• Kill all competition with the largest pole.

And my very favorite… because it has the personal touch:

• Very Penis Extended Long!  Ali.

God Bless.

Pope Flesh Eater vii

   

 Pope is gonna EAT YOUR FACE!

Penis Enhancement (Part 2) --

Ok.  For some reason, I am on a hit list to receive a TON of daily e-mails encouraging me to buy male enhancement accessories… which is ridiculous, because everyone knows I have a huge cock.

 

So, for your enjoyment -- I have compiled a brand new list of just a few of the actual spam e-mail titles.  100% real.  Here they are:

• Update Your Penis
• Wake up the beast in you
• Become a super-hung giant
• Real women love big dimensions
• Get your giant tool now
• Never agree to be a loser
• The thing between your legs can grow!
• Here is the Big Bang theory
• Feel your male superiority
• Love tool deserving of a Titan
• A key to her bedroom is in your pants
• Light her eyes with the fire of true adoration
• Be well-hung like a camel

And last, but certainly not least -- ‘I caught you naked, Ali’. Damn! This one gets me every time.

Tubular

I'm bringing back the word 'tubular'.  Won't you join me?

[ Brainflakes: Just Add Milk ]

• compared to me, my cat is a dumbass.
• wouldn't it be nice is postage stamps contained a hit of acid?
• one of these days, i'm going to start wearing a cape.

SEE MORE OF THE ORIGINAL BRAINFLAKES COMEDY SERIES BY ALI PUCKETT!

POP, DEAD!

Jiffy Pop tastes like ass.  Salty, buttered ass.

oh, and did you know that Orville Redenbacher was found dead in his jacuzzi in 1995, after suffering a heart attack and drowning?  just some food for thought. 

more about Orville Redenbacher on Wikipedia.  fun stuff!

Pull the PLUG~

Exercise your right to DIE!

Check out the new buttonhead video HERE!